Lately I’ve been doing some work on my relationship with money and yet again I’m seeing how yin and yang my husband and I are. We are opposites in nearly every way and although that can be challenging, we share core values like respect, parenting styles, and (the only thing I ever asked for) our sense of humor. It can be really hard to meet in the middle and it requires so much humility to let your partner teach you new ways of living because many of us cling to unhealthy habits like security blankets.
Tonight I was reminded to stay teachable and it made me think back to 2011 when my husband and I went on my dream vacation, a trip that I planned super Asian FOB style. Some people might find that offensive and if so, feel free to unfollow because my fellow Asians know exactly what I mean and there’s more where that came from, I’m not afraid to discuss culture and race. What does it mean to be “fresh off the boat” Asian style? I can sleep on any surface at any time, I enjoy street food and I breathe through my mouth like a boss when I’m about to enter somewhere sketchy. Other things considered FOB: washing plastic sandwich bags for reuse or the example below:
On our trip around some of the most remote islands in the Okinawan archipelago, I booked us a budget “hotel” because if you’re traveling correctly, accommodations are just for sleep and storage, right? Well you should’ve SEEN my husband’s face when we were taken to the back room of a scuba shack! In my defense, the guy had decorative mandala tapestries that made our room feel less “garage-y.” We stayed there for one night and argued about what really matters in life before we moved to this beautiful (and still economical) hot springs hotel. Judging by the smile on my face, you can see that I had a blast. We got beer from vending machines and soaked our muscles after a grueling hike and kayak trip, led by our gracious tour guide/hotelier from night number one. Our hot springs hotel was called the Iriomotejima-Jungle Hotel Painumayawas and it is a sustainable-haven, really clever and environmentally friendly and yet I didn’t have to worry about flying cockroaches.
Now as we settle into our new home, one that we are tailoring for a future family of 6, I am re-learning this lesson that relishing the fruits of your labor is not obnoxious or spoiled. I am eternally grateful that my parents instilled a deep sense of gratitude in me but I am also deprogramming some aspects of the scarcity mentality that often comes as a the result of growing up in third world countries. I am learning that my “extravagant American” husband has a point – frugality isn’t always best and hoarding money doesn’t bring more money, in fact it does the opposite. Money is energy and to be able to circulate something so positive only brings more light to this world. Do you think about your relationship with money? Did you even realize that it’s a relationship? Do you like this woo-woo shit too?